So it is 12 days later and here i'm sitting still in pain - a bit less but pain none the less. This is honestly getting to be too much. I dont really have any good answers even tho i'm seeing specialists that cost fortune (thanks to private health insurance i'm not paying for) and I getting medication to try to SEE if it could be joint pain related to infection in my intestines. My brain is getting very befuddled by this all and my moods are pretty befuddled as well. I dont think i'm going to be able to right much as this is really hurting my hands. It seems that they have become the worse part. But i think that is alot to do with going back to work and useing them again. All the mouse work etc. My boss was really sweet and went and bought me heated hand guards for arthritis pain and my other collegue gave me his track ball mouse. but it is still really hard and a day at work now sees me struggling home and curling up to sleep because the pain in my hands is just unbearable. Then there are the people at work that see me working and dont think that i must be in pain cause well i'm there and working so what could be wrong *note the annoyance to that line of thinking. I'm so sorry that i'm good at putting a brave face on things. I reckon that I do not wish to appear weak.
I dont know how i'm going to get through this week if things dont change.
And now that i'm pretty "disabled" by pain all i can think about is the things i want to be doing, like climbing and using my bike as transport, stuff that i want to do with friends, holidays etc. Even my usual net surfing and home computing had come to a halt.
I have a climbing weekend coming up in 2 weeks and really REALLY dont want to be like this come then.
Also it is amazing what you take for granted. and what it is like when doing even the simpilist things are difficult.
And finally i just have to say it is horrid not even being able to hold your partners hand properly cause it hurts.
well i have to stop now and this may not have been the best idea to type as more pain is setting in. but i honestly need to get some of this stuff out my head.
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5 comments:
Shame man! hang in there, hopefully it'll get better....it definitely is difficult when you can't use your hands properly, you use them for everything, so I feel very sorry for you right now! can you grip things? sometimes you have to have an op in the wrist to sort it out... do they think it might be carpal tunnel?
Thanks Anonymous - Sadly it isnt just the hands that are in pain it is all my joints - it is like having arthritis more then a carpal tunnel thing. I can grip things and move but the more i do the more painful the joints become until i'm all stiff and hobbiling around.
owwww okay! shit. so it's rheumatoid arthritis maybe.. best of luck to you, I hope the doctors help you out quickly!
Sounds to me like you're suffering from an arthritis flare. It sucks. It particularly sucks because no matter how supportive they are, people who don't feel what you feel don't really understand. I was diagnosed in 2007, but I've suffered off and on since about 1991. If they get you on the right medication it should settle out mostly. I've been really lucky with finding the right medicine.
If you want to talk about it with someone who actually knows what you're going through, Leigh should have my email [or she can get it from my sister]
@Akika - thanks for the support! it must be great having a diagnosis and having found the right medication. Am heading back to the specialist today ...so hopefully i'll have more information and then can really start getting on with my life.
Thanks for the offer of support and someone to talk to. May take you up on that in the future if this continues. At the moment I'm actually really tired of everyone talking to me about it everyday and everyone wanting details and updates everyday. But seriously Thanks! :)
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