Letter to a daughter...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Below I have inserted a letter from my mom which was in comment to my blogs that I have written and I just wanted to share it ...

My Darling Gemma,

Had a look at your pics and read your latest entries. Was going to comment on line, but it sent me off somewhere saying that I had to join up – sorry too much for me today. So here are my comments.

It really saddens me to read what you say – obviously how I brought you up has impacted greatly on who you have become – an extremely complex person. It was my job to teach you what was right and what was wrong and equip you to go out in the world and survive. On one level I seem to have done a good job but on a deeper level I seem to have made you take life far too seriously. You can't go through life feeling guilty for everything and everyone. You are not, to coin the phrase, "your brother's keeper". You need to do what you want to do (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone) whenever, regardless of what anyone says. I never want you to be like your grandmother or like me (for that matter) and put yourself down either because of friends or because of the person you end up living with or married to. Nobody has the right to make you feel this way.
I know you are a perfectionist and perfectionists suffer. Remember nobody, except God, is perfect. Always try and do your best and don't waste the talents God gave you because one day when you are old you will regret this. But don't stress about what you do and how you do it. You are unique and you will do everything in your own unique style. So far I am very proud of everything you have achieved.

And don't bury all your feelings and internalise them. This is what is causing your ulcer. You need to tell people to back off and that includes your family, your friends and your boss.

I feel guilty because I don't seem to have equipped you with enough skills to deal with life. I seemed to have concentrated on giving you the best education possible. Maybe I wasn't dealing with my own life well enough at the time to actually teach you coping skills. For this I apologise and ask your forgiveness.

You have so much to look forward to – the best years of your life still lie ahead of you now that you more or less know who you are and what you stand for.
Please remember to
· live each day to the fullest, if you spend it stressing about things you will miss so much.
· not worry about tomorrow because it may never happen and it is a complete waste of time and emotion. And time you can never get back.
· have faith and believe in yourself regardless of what others say about you or to you.
· be kind to yourself and do things you want to do – not what others want you to do.
· be kind to others but not to the detriment of yourself – remember the saying "what goes around comes around".
· not harbour anger or guilt – it will make you sick and is really not worth it. Trust me I know all about this.
· be comfortable in your skin –after all it is your skin.

Also remember that I am always here for you – don't shut me out of your life. Talk to me about your problems - even if you are going to live far away from me. I will only be a phone call or an ADSL line away from you.

I want you to be happy with the wings you have grown and to fly far and wide and do wonderful things. I want you to be able, at the end of your life, to look back without regret and say that you have made the most of everything and done everything to the best of your abiblity. Don't always live wisely or safely, remember to live passionately – it will carry you through the dark times, and sadly there will always be the odd dark times.

I love you and am immensely proud of who you are and what you stand for - don't compromise and above all be happy and don't forget to dance with the fairies at the bottom of the garden.

Will all my love,
Moo