Random bits and pieces

Well i'm been playing around with this and had sat and moved over everyone of my bloggings from myspace across and have been looking around for some good layouts for the look of this page...still no luck on that side. Am thinking i'm going to have to bug Callum to teach me some html to at least personalize the background. Otherwise will keep looking and see how happy I am at the end of the day with the site before putting it out there.

So as i was reading my blogs while moving them, I can across my blog re my boss...I would just like to state that yes he can be frustrating and yes I get angry and annoyed as we all do with people in our lives. But I need to just say that as angry as i was that day it was truely a rare occasion that i get like that and that he truely has been a great boss...doesnt pay so well. But he does really care for me and has helped me so much in the last year and we have a kinda friendship that has made the last year great. The stresses of the job do get in the way but that is how things go. There were way more good times then bad time and am also thankful that we didnt have issues with each other cause he does have quite the temper on him (2 sides just like the gemini that he is) but it has never been aimed at me ever. And he wrote me the most amazing reference letter today ! Will def go very well in my CV :)

Other then that I dont have much to say tonight, and it is def time for bed since I'll be going non stop till whos knows when !!!

Oh random sights and sounds for the day: Old man driving around in his car with a CB radio loudspeaker telling people to get off their cellphones while driving ....Very strange !!!

Night

Late night tired ...

So it looks like i'll test this site out a bit - see how i feel about it and then just might move all my random ramblings over to this site. Not too sure yet - still have to figure this as yet another site to my large array of sites.

My thoughts are that this would be a better place to post more of my thoughts and notes on my travels and posting pics (really love that you can post them straight from your phone - Really liked Ross's use of this) and am always inspired by my friend Mish's blog here. It feels more serious - and since i'm now a few days off 25 I think it is time to get a bit more serious.

Well it is definitely a rambling night as i've had very little sleep last night and have had a bit to drink tonight :)

So heres to the test - and hopefully to many more blogs

Look what I taught myself to do in a day :)

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Current mood: creative
The courses to learn 3D drawings skills are all around R3000. So I thought stuff it and found google's SketchUp program online for free and taught myself this in a day ...

Pain...

Monday, March 19, 2007
Current mood: groggy
The word "pain" comes from the Latin: poena meaning punishment, a fine, a penalty. Pain is an unpleasant sensation; nociception[1] or nociperception[2] is a measurable physiological event of a type usually associated with pain and agony and suffering. A sensation of pain can exist in the absence of nociception: it can occur in response to both external perceived events (for example, seeing something) or internal cognitive events (for example, the phantom limb pain of an amputee). Pain is defined as "an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage" - International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP). Scientifically, pain (a subjective experience) is separate and distinct from nociception, the system which carries information, about inflammation, damage or near-damage in tissue, to the spinal cord and brain. Nociception frequently occurs without pain being felt and is below the level of consciousness. Despite it triggering pain and suffering, nociception is a critical component of the body's defense system. It is part of a rapid warning relay instructing the central nervous system to initiate motor neurons in order to minimize detected physical harm. Pain too is part of the body's defense system; it triggers mental problem solving strategies that seek to end the painful experience, and it promotes learning, making repetition of the painful situation less likely.

SO what am i supposed to be learning from the pain that i'm experiencing ?

Realisations

Friday, March 16, 2007
Current mood: drained
Category: Life
I've had quite a hectic few weeks including having my office invaded by the person that is going to be taking over from me and I have to train. This may have cut down my internet time and been very frustrating having to teach someone software from scratch. But i've also had some really interesting conversations that have made me look at certain situations with a knowing and new perspective. This has also been helped by conversations with friends and going to watch the documentary the secret.

So something i've come to realise that we all need unconditional love. The kind of love where you do not feel judged and you have no fear of being hurt. Cause hurt and pain isnt just a feeling of emotion. It shapes who we are. And even though we can grow and become stronger by going through the pain we can also be keep in a rut in our life due to hurt i.e. the kind of hurt and pain that the feeling of failure causes. This then taints how we all react to situations and to each other. I think we are all afraid of the pain and hurt and that is the love from people doesnt seem unconditional then we will be the first to react negatively or to withdrawn and shut the other person out. But then are we not holding back our unconditional love for the other people?
Is it too much to hope that we could give our love unconditional, that we can really change each others lives for the better - to let people in and even if we get hurt to keep giving out our love. Doesnt that path seem more prefreable then a life half lived and full to feelings of emptiness that comes with all the insecurities and fears. But on the flip side ...when is enough enough? How long do you go on giving your love and energy to a person without anything in return. Yet obviously we should give without the expectation of receiving. But when do you let go and move on?

Ok so i've seriously gotten off my original point of this blog ...but these are all things that have come up in the last 2 weeks. And maybe it is because of the new guy at work or maybe it is the fact that i'm leaving, but i know that i want to be true to all the unconditional love that I have within me and just take the time to tell people how much i appreciate and love them. And even though i've been and will be very busy before leaving. Everyone please remember that I do love and care for you but i have to do so many things before leaving.

Before i went off on a tangent I originally wanted to make the point that it is such a great feeling to be in a relationship were i can truely be myself, where there is no judgement, where there are expectations of my personality. I feel no need to adjust who i am or what opinions I have - even if they are opposite. It is also great to feel safe enough that you can admit that you dont know something (this is something that i've noticed lately that people have an issue admiting this)

So again i just have to say that i'm so grateful for my relationship, and for my family and friends as i dont know what i would do without them. Thanks Callum for always being here for me even if you are SO far away! And always making me laugh when i've had a bad day. Thanks Mish for all our interesting and mulit faceted conversations !! Thanks Mark for being there for me no matter what ...all day long :) Thanks Mom for your patience with me for all my dis order, stress and constant tiredness.

And thanks to you for taking the time out to read my random thoughts and ramblings :)
Ok now i'm more then drained, i'm completely exhausted !!
Night night ...xx

My grateful diary no2

Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Current mood: content
Category: Life

10 things I'm grateful for:
1. for the strong examples i have in my parents and the unconditional love that they have for me
2. for the amazing man that has come into my life - and who makes even the darkest days bright (even when he is half way across the world)
3. for the close connections that i have with my friends that creates a strong support system. for the way that each friend is there for me in there own special way.
4. for the fact that we booked my train ticket to london 4 hours after my plane is supposed to land cause now it is already landing an hour later then expected
5. new people that have come into my life that it seems like there was a reason for meeting
6. for the fact that i am ticking things off my to do list
7. for the connections that i've already made with employment agencies in London and the opportunity to get there finally
8. for getting to see the movie the secret and for it reinforcing what i believe is out there for me and my future (please everyone if you can get a chance - go see it next tuesday at the labia!)
9. for the fact that i had a proper conversation with my brother today - on his birthday !
10. that my parents have made it through 26 years of marriage today :) well done