Guilt

Thursday, November 02, 2006
Current mood: pensive

I think that guilt is one of the most overlooked emotions. We see guilt as black and white. If one is guilty then one must have done something wrong. But like most things in life it isnt that simple. Emotions are complex and are perceived differently by each individual.
Guilt is a part of my life everyday. I have no idea how i got to be like this and mostly it isnt for doing anything specific. It can be the slightest thing that makes me feel guilt. It also rules my actions and sometimes it isnt a bad thing. Like when you dont really want to do something for someone or go to a social thing but you feel guilty so you do - in the end it was the right thing to do and it mostly always turns into a good situation. This i think has to do with etiquette - this stuff i got drilled into my head as a child and the guilt keeps me doing the right thing. Guilt keeps me loyal, trust worthy, thourghtful, drug free and out of jail.
But then there are moments when the guilt about not doing things, or doing things, or thinking certain things or saying the wrong thing ...or eating that whole chocolate bar... just gets too much. It becomes anxiety which then festers in ones mind and body, wrecking havoc therein.
Guilt is a fine line and i think i will always have some in my life but I am endevouring to cut the negative guilt out of my life - so if this seems selfish or causes selfish actions then i'm sorry. But one has to rely on oneself for ones own happiness.