All over the place

My head is seriously fried at the moment. I've been working non stop and that is all that it feels like i've been doing but it is only Thursday...I need this weekend to hurry up and get here.

My attention span is shot and I cannot consentrate on anything for more then 3 seconds! It is driving me up the wall. So this is going to be one seriously disjointed post as I cant seem to write more then a few sentances and then i'm wandering off to try do other things.

Firstly - My dad is doing well, all the cancer was taken out and it didnt get to the bone - so all is well. He is now not to move his leg until monday and he is so going to go made with boredom now!

#2 - Go check out my bit about the gallery, museum and Dinner we did last well ...HERE at my 101 things project. We got to see grown men prancing around in gladiator suits!! how cool is that. lol


3 = Thank you so much to Miss Caughtup for sending a Kreative blog award my way. I'm still in awe that people with such great blog read my little thing.

Fouth thing - C and I went on a very cool guided walk around Chealsea last friday for free as arranged by the londonist. It was very cool and I really enjoyed all the random stories and myths and pop culture. What a fasinating guy, Chris, that took it. I'll go find the links just now. He does a publication called One Eye Grey which is stories written of folklore and myths but set in the current london. We did buy 3 editions and i'll hopefully get around to reading them soon. Then we did land up eating dinner at the Mc Donalds - but we just had to after find out that it was the building/shop that the drug shop that the rolling stones used to hang out it. What a strange turn around from drug shop to Mc D's.

#5 - OMG it is now suddenly FREEZING ...and this sudden "cold snap" caused us to have SNOW in Oct (this is very weird as it hasnt snowed in oct for 70 odd years) So once I eventually made it out of the freezing col house the other morning I did catch the last bits of the snow in the back garden. But the thing about all this is that we still havent sorted out the heating that from some STRANGE reason got completely turned off for summer. But now that it is SO cold we are seriously needing to organise the gas guy to come back and turn it on. The hitch to doing this is the fact that this means we have to turn our bedroom into a lounge and hide all the bedroom stuff.... so that is the mission this weekend - oh joy



And that is all i think i have for today.

Dad's going for surgery!

So it was just over a week ago that I found out that my has a skin cancer growing on his leg that one doctor was treating as a skin infection and the 2nd doctor treated it as a skin infection that got into the bone. He has been in pain for over 6 months now. Finally by going to a plastic surgeon to see about tidying up the "skin infection" and he was the one that spotted it as cancer.

The result of all this...well tomorrow (thanks to a cancellation - otherwise the wait was going to be 3 weeks!) he is going into hospital to have it cut out of his leg and new skin graphted onto the area. The area that going to have to be removed is the size of a side plate. But the horrid part is that he cant be put under a general anesthetic as he is a smoker with seriously bad lungs and asthma! So it is all going to be done with a local anesthetic. Now since I just had one for them to put the implant into my arm and that still hurt and i had to feel it I seriously feel for him having to go through that.

So now we are just holding thumbs that the cancer hasnt got to the bone and the malignant part it able to be taken out completely!

My thoughts & love are with you Dad
xxx

Survey hell continues

But now it is a furniture audit that is doing my head in. Seriously i've now had 2 weeks of surveys and drawings up of surveys! This is just getting too much now!

And to top it all off....I have to go survey another space tomorrow morning ! I mean really - WTF is going on! I hate surveys and i'm not the best at them since i'm kinda dislexic and stuff. There are always measurements that i get messed around.

Anyways have to get back to the planning the audited furniture into the new buildings...

Here is just how much furniture i had to measure and note and photograph and draw up:

Monday craziness

So what is driving me mad today ?? Well the survey that was sending me round the bend last week has now taken the madness a step further.

These are the elevations I now have to draw from the survey... These are the first 4 i've drawn this morning... There are 32 that need to be done by the end of the day !!! I'm already exhausted and no where near finished - now i have food in me.. back to the crazy world of my drawings.

Reasons my bf makes me laugh ....

I am currently out of the office...

Doing an elevational survey on the most horrid grade 2 listed building!! There isnt a straight wall in the entire 6 floors ! Wall lean outwards or inwards. Half the building has dropped at different levels on different sides to the building which means that the floors and ceiling are all different heights everywhere that you measure ! It is just HORRIBLE !!! And i'm doing this all alone in the building that creaks and moves and has some very strange noises. I tried putting my ipod in but it was just to unnerving as i was still hearing things.

I suppose this is all to be expected when we are dealing with a building that was built in 1860 odd. And used to be the gardens of King Henry the 2's mistress. (weird fact for the day)

It is just insane fiddlily and time consuming survey work when you have to measure every little detail. Like the window frames & panes of french sash windows, and panelled doors and walls and light switches and plug points, and dado rails and cornices (there are 3 at the top of EVERY wall) etc etc etc...this is going to drive me mad! And i'm going back for more tomorrow!!! only 4 more floors to go !!!

If i'm not back by friday then you'll know i've been locked away in the looney bin!

Friday Blues...

So i'm back at work and not too hapy about it. I feel like i'm seriously lacking in sleep now that it is the end of the day since i've been sleeping during the day for the last 3 days. Plus I think I kept waking myself up when I rolled onto my arm in the night. My arm has a bloody great big (ok maybe not that big) hole in it from having the contraceptive implant inserted.

I am so happy about this!! I have a very good feeling about it as well as being happy that i'm now truely 100% certain not to fall pregnant. And since everyone around me is doing it or thinking of it etc I def want to be certain I dont fall into that trap ! ! lol They took a big hollow needle with a 5 cm implant rod inside, out the needle into my arm under the skin for about 6am and then took it out leaving the implant behind. Thankfully there was an injection to numb the area! otherwise we are talking serious piercing pain. But it is def sore at the moment esp if it gets banged.

So anyway, back at work, still feeling sick (not as bad as the rest of the week but bad enough to make work unpleasent) Trying to actually get drawings done (not happening) and generally not feeling in a happy socialble mood! I just want to go home and get some sleep or veg out and watch a movie.

There is ONE wonderful happy thing to this friday ... Miss Unhinged is leaving today !! SHe is going to move to the middle east and work for our company there. Just to quickly fill in she is the designer that made life a bit miserable for the 6 months I worked under her. She also caused me a great deal of insecurity and that I was not impressed with. I played a few office politics and got myself moved away from her. I just have to point out that in the year that she has been here she has only seen 1 project to the end (and there was another senior designer on it) And has only 2 other projects running at the moment. That is it. She hasnt won a pitch of her own while she has been here - and she was supposed to be my mentor. I have to say that I'm pretty glad to see the back of her. BUT I do know that things in her personal life havent been the best and as a person I do wish her the best in her new path. I hope she makes it work for her there. Otherwise it is just going to break her if it doesnt.

So with that I'm going to hunt the bf down and go home. Oh and I've realised that DAMN do we email each other alot during the day ! It is very rare to get through a work day with no communication at all!

ME

So i've actually been home sick in bed for the last 3 days - and bored out of my mind. I actually dont like being home sick. I think I figured out why. It is fear. The fear of being stuck in bed unable to get better and get out of bed. This is all cause I was bedridden solidly for 3 months and have had long periods of convalesing. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome ...I have written about this before - click here.

I've also realised that i hate taking sick days off of work cause deep down I think that people at work do not believe me. This is all due to the stigma that people dont understand the CFS and think that you can just be better like it is just normal flu. Or they cant understand just how bad it can get. Also haveing had the worst while I was at school always lead to constant comments from fellow students that I must be faking it - and it is amazing how that sticks with you.

I just know from the experience of having it for the last 9/10 years that no one really understands it unless you've had it. And even then it affects people differently. Recently I have found that there is def more support groups and organisations here aimed at us sufferers - well I never found any in Cpt. So lately I've been reading a few of the forums and websites and it really is amazing to me that there are just SO many definitely diagnosed cases that are so similar to mine. There are even terminology that I only used for lack of any actual terminology like "brain fog" and I find that there are people out there using it as well.

I found reading the site both uplifting and depressing. Reading peoples account where they are still in the early days and at the worst was interesting - I just wanted to get ahold of them and tell them that you do come through the worst. But it also reminded me that I have this, there is no doubt. I do have this and will always pretty much have it! I'm so lucky that I'm actually very pysically strong at the moment and it is esp amazing that I have a sport - climbing. So few of us sufferers have this. But I do have to becareful and always remember that if I push things too far when I'm run down I may just push it too far and land up stuck in bed again - and I never want that again.

So while reading through things I came across this semi poem written by a sufferer and it rang true with me (not the suicidal bits - I was never in that state as I was always able to keep my head from going that far)

Person with ME
Carol

Who am I?
The mind is such a complex part of human anatomy
How do we start to analyse who we are or who we want to be?
Some two years and eight months ago, I became so very ill
But positive in nature, believed I'd battle it with sheer will
However, this was not to be - my mind and body weak
No control I had of anything, just pain and eyes so bleak
Tests and scans that followed were all surprisingly clear
How could I feel so ill inside, my mind so numb with fear?
The most minimal of tasks were so exhausting to the brain
A phone call or a visitor - plagued me with migraine
I had no life, no function, could not grasp reality
So scared was I, who am I? what will become of me?
No matter who's around you, you always feel alone
How can anyone really help you?
You're in this on your own
I'm not a quiet person, who just muddles through the days
I'm always such a happy thing - the 'life and sole' so they say....
But, my life was shattered instantly when I discovered 'm.e.'
I had no strength to fight it, in a world too dark to see
Why did the sound of summer birds drive me near insane?
A gun to the head - was this the way to take away my pain?
I'd wake up in the morning wishing the day would pass
Then praying for the darkness, and quietness at last
No pills, no cure, no anything, to ease this bane of my life
If I were a dog they'd shoot me - then to a land of 'paradise'
These thoughts I had so many times, because I had no guarantee
Who was to say I'd be well next year - it was really just 'wait and see'
Months and months passed slowly, now I never dare look back
Although on a slow recovery - I'm on a recovery track
Each week is a rollercoaster, not knowing how I will be
Many days in bed like a zombie, yet another day, making tea!
My mind is still a mystery - my memory - what's that?
I forget so many daily things, and repeat the same old chat!
Well, I know I'm still a long way off until I'm fit again
But, now, the days I cope with and never wonder - when?
I'm sure there's many people who relate so much to this
And my message to them all, from my heart, is simply this ....
Don't fight this dreadful illness, but accept and live it through
And with gradual slow activity, your life will return to you

Carol

Blog Award

I dont normally get into the whole passing around of awards or meme's on my blog - but since Blondie so sweetly listed me for the above award and since it is my first I thought I would post it.

So thank you very much for enjoying my random blog!!

P.s. I've added the whole following thing if anyone is keen :)

Now for some photos...

Winton House - For some history on this place (amazing stuff) then click here
The fact that the build was start in the 1000 AD was just amazing !


Just to show you the size of the estate - the farmhouse accommodation is the little cluster or trees in the far fields on the other side of the thick line of trees.


The actual firework at the wedding were just UNREAL


The first dance


C & my four poster bed


our HUGE room - please note the detailed plaster ceiling work that was done 30 years before Jan van Riebeeck landed at the Cape !!! ie 1620 - that is just crazy to me.

The fireplace and rest of the room

The Reception

After the wedding ceremony we headed back to Winton house. I'll have to write more about the house later as it was SO beautiful ! And the history of the place - it always amazes me and makes me realise that South Africa as a country is so very young!



Of course the first thing after the ceremony was the photographs. This was being done by The Housemate as his gift to them. I'm still convinced that it was the most work in one go he has done in years! He normally only has to work for a few hours at a time. While this was going on the wedding guests got to start on the bubbly and canapes (cept I wouldn't call masses of thinly sliced veg and dips canapes)



I got to flit around the room doing my social butterfly trick, introducing people that didnt know each other (while added interesting facts to start conversation) And C ran around trying to gather different groups of people at the right times for the photos outside. How he did this I'll never know. I do remember him coming around going "have you seen someone that looks like he would be an uncle Alexander"



I was trying my darnedest to not drink my bubbly too fast so that I didn't get plastered before dinner but the damn waiter kept sneakily filling my glass up ! I was seriously suffering due to the lack of food ! By this stage (6pm ish) I had only had that 1 slice of toast at 9am !!! We just didn't have time to stop for food (or anywhere to get it) the whole day. The housemate was even trying to provide mints to sustain us on the way back from the church.



After the photos they were supposed to do the whole cake cutting things...but thanks to some quick thinking on the grooms part he organised that we headed straight out to the marquee for dinner ! :)



The marquee was beautiful and was absolutely movie perfect. All white drapes and gold chairs etc. I knew I was going to be an odd one to seat since C was sitting up at the main table but I must say that I didn't expect to be sitting at the "intellectual" table. I could have guess though since the one girl seems to have become quite attached to me and I heard later that she had mentioned he like of me to the groom before the wedding. So basically I was the ONLY person at the whole table that didnt have Dr in front of her name!! OMG. And then the other strange thing was that I was seated inbetween the girl and her bf. I'm not sure if that was how it was planned or if they had changed it themselves before getting to the table. There were def so awkward moments...like this one...



Dr Sporty Physics (to her bf across me): Midnite Gem knows that I perve over her bf in a suit.



Her bf: *glares at Midnite Gem*



OMG - talk about uncomfortable...And why glare at me ??? It not really my fault that I have a hot bf that she seems to need to state this fact to the table.



Well I did manage to survive the dinner. The food was great (cept my stomach was now complaining from TOO much food instead of the TOO little before) I just have to say that there was one particular chick at my table that was just insufferable - what a cow. I just cant even explain it.

The rest of the reception consisted of the first dance (to Smashing pumpkins, tonight tonight), lots of dancing, cake cutting, fireworks (seriously impressive ...cost!), cake eating and more food, then even more dancing with a bit of driving people back and forwards again. Also there was a random moment of finding a lost wedding ring that had fallen off a guest finger as she had recently lost alot of weight and so both her wedding ring and engagement ring came flying off while dancing and only once the light were one and everyone was leaving did she realise they were gone. I was just sitting there thinking in my head ..."oh no please dont tell me the hysterics are going to start now" while my eyes were scanning the floor from my seat for anything really ...there it was all the way on the other side of the room to where everyone was looking. I casually walked over, pick it up and returned it and then the hysterical thanks started - sometime you just cant win.

So we packed everyone off into taxi's and send the bride and groom off to bed. Finally there was only one guest left who was waiting for her lost bf to come fetch her who had also had a flat tire on the way and was now lost. After much trying to get broken messages through due the the horrid mobile reception. Just after 2 am he arrive and C and I could wave them off and head up to bed as we were the last up other then the wedding co-ordinator.

We absolutely collapsed onto the beautiful four poster bed in the BEAUTIFUL original main room of the house. As we melted into the gorgeous fluffly duvet and matress and curled up, C turned to me and said: "I was so going to ravaged you tonight ...but frankly my gorgeous I'm just too exhausted." LOL and so was I! So we just wrap ourselves up in each other put our head on the extremely soft pillows and were both instanly fast sleep.

Morning came way too quickly and had us up and packed and down for breakfast at 10. Breakfast was amazing - talk about have absolutly everything laid out for you. So we ate ourselves stupid. Then said all our goodbyes, picked up the groom cousin and the maid of honour and dropped them off in Endinburgh and then head off to glasgow for the afternoon and onto Fort William to stay the next night.

More to come from the travels in Scotland....

NEW LOOK

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME WHILE I PLAY AROUND WITH THE LOOK AND FEEL OF MY BLOG :)

Oh and btw ...have a new blog for my 101 things in 1001 days... http://gems101.blogspot.com/

Ok it is official I can be seriously obsessive!!! This is going to be a work in progress as now i'm playing around with the actual code here - will be awhile and the blog is going to look crap for awhile and all my widgets are fucked up....oh well it is going to look great when i'm done :)

The Church

*Ok, I strangely feel that I need to quickly write a little disclaimer note here. I have to say that I absolutely LOVED going to the wedding. I was beautiful amazing day. And such a wonderfully happy day as well. Seeing Dr&Mr Intellectual all loved up and passionate in their love for one another was so wonderful. I also loved the meeting of new people, the socialising and the great energy of running around doing things. SO if there are any moany or negative sounding bits to my blog about the wedding it is not meant in offense to the day - it is just my silly little opinion and nothing ultimately detracted from a wonderful experience for me. So if any comes upon this rambling please just take it for what it is - ramblings and nothing seriously or meaningful*

SO...

off to the church ...
What an interesting church to say the least! I reckon it is one of those not sure if it should be classified as a cathedral or church - but i think it is pretty close to former then the latter. It happened to have the longest aisle in Scotland - how is that for daunting to walk down !!! Luckily they had arranged it that the alter was half way up the aisle and the wedding register signing was all the way at the end of the aisle. A mass of the guests (mostly the Edinburgh friends) had gather outside the church once we all arrived from the house. The family members mostly headed in but the rest of use all said our hellos etc (well mostly all the girl who knew each other from the hen night) Finally we all headed into the church. I had ABSOLUTELY no idea where to sit myself ! It was really strange. I know that most weddings all have a bride and groom side to the church but it was decided that the groom didn't have enough people to fill his side so that rule was scrapped.

There were some early people sitting pretty far towards the back and the people I came with from the house were all going up front. I wasn't keen to sit too far back as I wont be able to see and stuff. I did wondered where and what the hell the ushers were supposed to be doing?? No one seemed to know where they were going. So I landed up 3 rows from the front. I did notice that the first 2 rows had name tags on them - which i think was great for the family - but tell me if I'm wrong but the fact that the usher and his wife had name tags on their seats when some of the relatives didn't??? I found this extremely weird. I started to think that yes there is another example of how you get treated differently if you are someones wife over just being someones partner. C did mention to me days later that he had found more name tags in a box that didn't get set out. anyways moving on.

The Church has the most amazing history which C told me more about afterwards from the info that the minister was telling him. Things like it was burnt down by one of the King Henry's and John Knox was part of the ministry there (he was born in the town) and had over seen major parts of the repair and rebuilding. More info here. Random thing to point out but it seems that churches in Scotland are called Kirk, I mean how close is that to the Afrikaans word for church, Kerk! It is also pronounced the same.

I haven't been to a wedding in a church for pretty much exactly 10 years (In 1998 I came to England for my brothers wedding in a little LITTLE village in Gloustershire where I was bridesmaid in the most horrid dress that was too big!) I must say that Dr & Mr I's wedding was nice and short and not TOO churchy well not compared to the hour & a half service that my brother had. It did feel very surreal to me for some reason. I have to say I love their contemporary reading from "for whom the bells toll" (I cant find the actual reading but it was beautiful)

They also did have the obligatory string quartet and this is funny cause if you ask my mom we have been joking about how I would never have one at my own wedding. So I had to have a little chuckle to myself. I did realise sitting there in the church and watching the wedding that even though I love the surrounding and the architecture of a church I could not actually have a church wedding myself - def not at this stage of my life. This is also funny due to the fact that I think I have a bit of a fear regarding getting married. C loves to poke fun at me about it. There are so many reasons that I fear it. One of them is that I do think that the way people hype their weddings up is ridiculous. and that the amount of money spent on weddings is crazy. I think it is just too over the top and I just don't think that is very ME. (Again this is all just my opinion) This wedding did spark plenty of conversations about what each person would like for their wedding. And I of course got very wrapped up in it all as well. It is great fun coming up with things one would like to do. I do think that I would like a wedding as such if I get married but I know that it wouldn't be your traditional wedding or over the top. My other issues around marriage is alot to do with probably the "forever" part. Maybe it has to do with being trapped or loosing ones Independence even more. BUT as much as that all sits in my head I do think that it is great to be able to make that kind of public statement of status in people lives. There are still different attitudes that people have towards a couple that is married and one that is simply life partners even if they have been together twice as long and may even have kids. For this reason alone I fully understand people fighting for legal gay marriages!!

Ok I've def been side tracked here - my mind and fingers sometime run away with me.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful and watching them up there was great - Dr I looked absolutely STUNNING in her wedding gown and Mr I looked seriously smart in his get up. And of course I have to say that C looked so amazing in the best man get up (of course the same as the groom) He does look so amazing in a suit normally but now the whole waistcoat and cravat thing added he look super hot (ok i'm biased) LOL. It was very weird watching him from afar up at the alter.

After a VERY happy Dr & Mr I walked down the aisle out of the church out in to the thankful NOT raining day we all did the photos and congrats and socialising bit until the bundled of into the gorgeous luxury cars and us into the bus and back to the house for the reception.

To be continued....