Role reversal

All my life I have had situations where I've admired and wanted to emulate things in people that were older then me, better then me at whatever etc. My first example is that in my late teens I had always picked people of about 23 to be in awe of. I thought that once you where about 23 you would have things sorted. Knew what you wanted to do with your life, finished studying or nearly finished. It felt like everyone I knew of that age just seemed so sorted.

Then suddenly I was nearly 23 and I didn't have a clue what I was doing, hadn't finished studying and was just working a full time job to earn cash to live in the now. I was still out causing trouble like a teen in my social life and generally having a ball tho. Then one night this 16 year old girl turned around and said that she hopes she is just like me when she is older as I have things so sorted.

I was completely shocked. There I was the girl that admired the older girls suddenly inspiring younger girls. But I didnt feel that different or that I had it any more sorted then I did when I was younger.

This strange role reversal happened to me again the other day....



When I started climbing I used to sit in the cafe area by the extremely high (to me) wall and watch the other lead climb. I loved to watch the female climbers and was in awe of what they could do and how graceful they were. I would sit there and tell myself that that is how I want to climb. I really didnt expect to be climbing so soon but we have come along fast we we started to lead climb only about 5 months after the first time we went climbing. It was New years Day and what a great moment. (see previous entry on starting climbing here)



So last week I did a lead climb on the high wall, about 15m (the highest in the climbing gyms of London I am told - see here for photo) The climb was challenging and I felt like I thugged my way up to the top. I was so exhausted from the whole afternoon climbing and had pumped out my arms on other routes. But I was still determined to finish this route 1st time so carried on hauling myself up the wall in what I thought was not my usual gracefulness.

Was completely exhausted and finished after that route and after watching friends climb and belaying a bit C and I decided to go home. Now this is the crux of my story - As I was getting my bag out of my locker the chick sitting my the lockers looked up and went 'oh hi, I was watching you climb up by the cafe and you did that so beautifully'. I was completely shocked. I'd forgotten that there would be people watching me from the cafe. I had actually blanked out the whole world and only the climb had mattered (I think this is one of the reasons I love climbing) But once again there was the role reversal. This was a chick who had just started climbing and was in awe of me and my climbing skills. Even when I didnt think I was at the level that I admired someone else did. I find it all very surreal.